View From Heaven
by justawritier
Summary: Kate/Jate fic set after she gets off the island. " She feels like he's the only one she can really talk to anymore."


**View From Heaven**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Lost.**

A/N: This is a Kate/Jate fic set after she gets back off the island in the finale.

This goes out to Sib, who like me has shipped them from the start. Jate is fate but we always knew that!

I'm just so tired  
Won't you sing me to sleep  
And fly through my dreams  
So I can hitch a ride with you tonight  
And get away from this place  
Have a new name and face  
I just ain't the same without you in my life

-**Yellowcard**

* * *

The plane ride home is silent, everybody lost in their thoughts, but there is only one thing on her mind, Jack. She tries to keep it together for Claire, she's not sure how good of a job she does.

She used a fake passport so no one knew about her breaking parole, her one saving grace. Everyone stays at her place for the night, too tired to come up with any kind of plan.

She makes Claire presentable in the morning and takes her to see Aaron, there are lots of tears and she's not sure if hers are happy or sad. She knows this is why she had to leave Jack; to get Claire on the plane so she thinks it better be worth it.

Claire and Aaron move in with her. It's nice to have people in the house; it takes her mind off other things, _Jack_.

She doesn't really sleep anymore because when she does she dreams of him and them and everything they should have been and never will be.

Eighteen days after they get back, she pees on a stick. She's not sure which word she wants to come up.

Pregnant. That word repeats in her mind like a mantra taunting her. She's going to have a baby, Jack's baby. She would have something of his forever. That was the first time she smiled since she got back.

Aaron doesn't quite understand that Jack is not coming back. It breaks her heart even more. She knows that he will not remember him when he gets older. She's not sure what's worse Aaron forgetting or her child never knowing.

At the first sonogram she sees her child, barley a couple inches and she loves it already, but she feels like something is missing. She knows Jack should be here. She can picture him sitting there holding her hand and having the biggest smile knowing he was going to be a father.

She goes to his grave every Sunday and talks to him. She feels like he's the only one she can really talk to anymore.

Months pass and she gets bigger, birthdays come and go and before she knows it her due date approaches.

She finally gives in and finds out she is having a boy, she thinks it's perfect. She hopes he looks like Jack.

Aaron is about to start school and needs his pants hemmed. Kate does it, in standard black. She cries for hours afterward.

She gives birth on September 22nd after twenty-three hours of labour. She never wished for Jack to be there more than in that moment. Claire was there helping her through every contraction but she wished it was her brother. Her hand was just too small and delicate.

It takes her four days to come up with a name. No name seemed good enough, always wondering if Jack would like it too. She likes Matthew-_Gift of the Lord_. She has never been that religious but she does know that he is a gift. Besides, Matthew Jack Shephard sounds perfect.

The first few nights are harder than she would have guessed, she is more sore than she has ever been in her life. Claire helps out in everyway possible and she does not want to seem ungrateful but all she wants is Jack.

Time passes and Matthew grows way too quickly for her taste. He's like Jack in everyway, always trying to help out, he has the kindest eyes just like his father. She tells Matt all about Jack.

She goes to visit Ji Yeon one day and tells her all about her parents and how much they loved her and each other, that they have the kind of love that very few people get to experience. She hopes it will make it better. It won't though, she knows that.

She goes on dates; she may let other men into her bed but never into her heart. Few relationships last more than a month. She can't move on no matter how hard she tries.

She sees Sawyer when Matt and Clem have playdates. He still has a haunted look in his eyes all these years later; she wonders if her eyes look like that, missing the spark, she thinks they probably do.

Matt goes from a boy to a man, graduates high school. She has never been more proud when he tells her he declared pre-med as his major. Hearing him being called Dr. Shephard beings back so many memories, good and bad.

He gets married and has kids. She tells them stories of a magical island where a fugitive and a doctor fell in love, and of a hero.

Her friends start to die, first Sawyer, and then slowly one by one she is the only one left. She gets diagnosed with cancer. Her son tells her he wants her to get treatment but she's so tried, she just want to see him again. She is scared but she counts to five and then she isn't afraid anymore. She hopes wherever she ends up it's with him.


End file.
